Working on the railways is different.
Some days I’m leading a team of 3, 10, sometimes 20 people. Noise. Movement. Constant talk.
And then there are other times.
It’s just me.
Night shift. Somewhere far out. An isolated stretch of track. Feels like you’re off the map.
The only light is the red of my torch, a signal to trains. Just darkness, a bit of wildlife, distant lights on the horizon. Kilometres of silence. Enough space for thoughts to wander.
Sometimes I just stand there and look down the line. Nothing coming. Nothing moving. Rails disappearing into the dark.
And in those moments, my mind goes back to when I was a kid. One parent home. The other on shift. Then they’d swap. Mum at the hospital. Dad on nights.
My brother and I got used to it. The house never really full. Just… enough.
You learn early how to sit with yourself.
Now I’m out here, doing the same thing. Standing in the dark. Waiting.
Not everyone handles that well.
There’s nothing to fill the space. No noise. No talk.
Just you.
When everyone is gone, when the lights are off, when people are asleep, it’s just you.
Ready or not.